A wise being once said happiness comes from giving to others. So to listen to another is a
gift, offered freely with no judgment and complete acceptance. In order to develop emotional
and mental resilience we need to know we are not facing difficult times alone. We need to feel
connected and heard.
Listening to the person, not the problem, with spacious awareness and calm compassionate
attention.
Inviting the other to speak with only one thought in mind, to give space for the other
to express themselves freely.
Showing acceptance of what is being said, with relaxed body language, expression and eye
contact.
To understand that the other suffers as long as they have no one to listen and you, you
are the person who can relieve that suffering.
Empathy not sympathy. Sympathy is looking at someone with understanding, but empathy
is looking with them, seeing the view from where they are. Empathy comes from the
heart.
No need to provide answers or rush to solutions. Compassionate listeners can affirm and
accept whatever thoughts and feelings arise without the urge to fix the problem.
Allowing silence patiently. Knowing the difference between a thoughtful silence and a
silence where someone doesn’t quite know how to begin.
No need to rush, just relax. Allow the emotions to become words that can be expressed.
Discretion and confidentiality are important in order to create a secure space for being
heard.
Listen to understand, not to reply.
Offering a simple phrase such as "Go on...", or "And then..." Works like magic.
Valuing the person, not the problem. Problems can sometimes seem insurmountable. A listener
can’t take the problem away or offer well-meaning reassurance, but can simply be there with body
and mind open and curious.
Encouraging and affirming, the listening space is creative, kind and full of possibilities.